A life changing moment

My heart, my thoughts and my prayers, are with my daughter-in-law and her family this week.  Her only brother passed away after a long. hard fight with the vicious disease of cancer.  He was 17 years old.

I have felt the gut-wrenching pain of death.  I have had my loved ones ripped from my life, and I have had them slip slowly and silently away.  I know of grief, and yet I can’t take hers from her, and make this walk just a little easier for her.

The sympathy cards.  Oh how I hated getting them, simply because of the reason for the card.  I didn’t want to be “that person” in need of sympathy.  I welcomed the comfort, but it was the sympathy that I didn’t want to be a part of.  I didn’t want to keep being reminded over and over again of the pain.

I just wanted the pain to stop, and I wanted my loved one back again.

I know that my daughter-in-law wants this more than anything else in life right now.  She wants the pain to stop, and she just wants to hug him, and see his smile again.  She wants him alive, and healthy, and back in her life again.

The tears are so tiring, the pain grows weary, and some days the burden of the loss is just too great. Will I ever feel normal again?

The answer is, no.  Never again.  This is a life changing moment.  She will never look at life through the same lenses, she will continually be aware of  his absence, and there will be days when she just won’t want to go on.

I know this is true, but I also know that my God will be her only Source of strength and comfort.  I am praying she finds this peace and comfort.

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid. ”   John 14:27

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Keeping a promise

It happened many years a go. A promise was made between two sisters.

A promise that we would always be there for each other, and for our children. It was important for us to remember their special day, and we were determined to make every attempt to send a birthday card to our children, and get to know them on a personal level.

We promised that we would support each other, and listen and learn from each other. Hold each other accountable. Our hope was that we were going to break the cycle, and make every effort to stay connected.

Build relationships that we did not have the privilege of experiencing with our own Aunts. Establish traditions, that would hopefully result in lasting memories.

We were holding true to this promise, when the life altering event of the death of my sister, took place ten years a go. This caused, among many other things, a lack of connection to her children. The distance and the grief created an invisible barrier.

However, I am still committed to the promise I made to her.

I have created some new memories, and I’m excited to carry on new traditions. More importantly, I’ve re-connected with two beautiful lives, and I’ve made another promise.

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A promise to her kids, and to their kids. I will be here for you, and I’m looking forward to building memories together.